In existential thought, “connectedness” refers to the relational dimension of human existence. Connectedness is the recognition that while individuals are free and responsible, they are also deeply bound to others, to the world, and to shared meaning. Connectedness in existential thought is significant because it balances the tension between human isolation and the need for authentic relationships and community.
The Meaning of Connectedness in Existential Philosophy and Psychology
Existential thought is often misunderstood as focusing only on the individual and, therefore, as being too individualistic in its messaging. While certainly existential thought emphasizes the individual, most existential philosophers, for example Heidegger, Merleau-Ponty and Sartre as well as existential psychologists like Rollo May, Irvin Yalom, and James Bugental emphasize that humans are also profoundly relational. Both existential philosophers and psychologists argue that while each person must face their own freedom, responsibility, limitations, uncertainties, mortality and discovery of their own meaning and purpose, genuine connectedness with others provides additional meaning and resilience. Relationships also serve as a safeguard against despair.
In existential thought, “isolation” refers to the unavoidable reality that each person is ultimately alone in their existence, meaning that no one else can fully perceive, share or understand the uniqueness of another’s lived experience. Connectedness mitigates this “existential isolation” by allowing authentic bonds.
“Existential isolation” means that no matter how connected we are to another person, we ultimately face much of life alone. It is not a flaw to be fixed, but a condition to be acknowledged, shaping how we pursue meaning, freedom, and authentic relationships with others. Irvin Yalom describes “existential isolation” as a fundamental condition, that is, we are ultimately alone in facing death and finding meaning. In addition, Yalom sees existential isolation as the deepest form of isolation (the unbridgeable gap between self and others, rooted in the fact that no one can live or die for us. He also described two additional forms of isolation experienced by humans: a) interpersonal isolation, which describes separation from others leading to feelings of loneliness and alienation and b) intrapersonal isolation in which parts of an individual’s psyche are cut off from one another. Existential psychologists like Yalom, May and Bugental emphasize that humans crave deep bonds with others. However, connectedness doesn’t erase existential isolation but helps us to confront it with courage and shared understanding
With respect to the importance of connectedness, psychologists recognize that there is a continuum of connectedness within which everyone must find the location on that continuum where they are most comfortable. At one end of the continuum, are individuals who are “loners” who are not comfortable around or with others, while at the other end of the continuum are individuals who are comfortable only when surrounded by others. Most people, however, locate themselves somewhat near the middle of the continuum, where they experience comfort in having some “connectedness” with others but do not prefer the extreme solitude of loners nor the need to be around others all the time.
There are many reasons for this “connectedness continuum”. Some of those reasons can be ascribed to individual biological differences, some to differences in personality and social upbringing. Some of these differences can be indicators of unresolved past experiences (e.g., unresolved childhood traumas) while others are not associated with problems in living. The point is that, with respect to connectedness to others, there is no one size that fits all.
When psychologists talk about the importance of connectedness, they are not talking about either social conformity or rebellious social isolation. Rather it is about finding that point on the continuum where they have and experience genuine (i.e., authentic) encounters with others, meeting each other as free beings. Though existentialism stresses individual freedom, it also emphasizes that our choices do impact others and that meaning can often emerge through shared projects, love, and dialogue.
The Significance of Connectedness
Existential thought sees connectedness as reflective of the tension between being a unique individual and being part of a shared world. Authentic living requires embracing both dimensions. Most existentialists acknowledge that relational meaning is meaning that is co-created. For Kierkegaard, faith and love are viewed as relational commitments; love is duty beyond reciprocity. For Sartre, the choices we make project values onto humanity. Both see connectedness as an important basis for meaning. Connectedness deepens responsibility. Sartre insisted that when we choose, we choose for all humanity and that our freedom is always in relation to others. This freedom of choice, therefore, involves responsibility for others. Existential psychotherapy stresses that “connectedness” helps individuals confront loneliness and despair. Authentic relationships provide support without erasing individual freedom.
Martin Buber, a philosopher known for his theistic and “dialogical existentialism”, a form of existentialistic thinking focused on how we communicate with each other, nature, and God. His most famous work is “Ich und Du”, (Eng. “I and Thou.”). The essence of his thought is that our existence is not defined only by isolated subjectivity but through relationships with other people and the Divine. At the heart his philosophy is that true human connectedness arises in the I-Thou relationship, where we encounter others (and ultimately God) in openness, reciprocity, and presence, rather than treating them as objects to be used as objects. Buber distinguishes between two modes of encounter: a) I-It which refers to the world of objects, utility, and detachment. Here, others are treated as things to be used or categorized. b) I-Thou refers to the world of genuine dialogue and presence (i.e., authenticity). In this mode, we meet the other as a whole being, without reducing them to functions or roles. The I-Thou encounter is not about merging identities but about standing in authentic dialogue, where each person is fully present to the other. For Buber, all genuine I-Thou relationships ultimately point toward the divine. For Buber, God is the “Eternal Thou,” the basis of all connectedness. For him, every authentic human encounter is a window into this deeper, transcendent relationship. Buber insists that relationship itself is the essence of human existence.
Sartre and Buber emphasize that the Other is essential to authentic existence; being seen, accepted and treated with kindness and respect validates existence.
Why Connectedness Matters
Research shows that extended isolation without human connection leads to despair, while authentic relationships foster resilience and meaning. In existential terms, connectedness forms the basis of ethics, that is an acknowledgment that our freedom is never solitary but always intertwined with others’ lives. Through relationships, individuals find it easier to confront finitude, uncertainty, and freedom with others, making existential challenges more bearable.
Contemporary neuroscience confirms existential intuitions. Loneliness is linked to stress, cognitive decline, immune system dysregulation and a shortened lifespan. Further, neuroscience confirms that good social bonds activate reward systems (dopamine) in the brain, reinforcing existential claims that connectedness is not optional but essential for flourishing.
The Consequences of Denying Connectedness
Existentialists stress that freedom entails responsibility to others. Denying connectedness can lead to ethical indifference, living as if one’s choices have no impact on others. As noted, Yalom distinguishes between interpersonal loneliness and existential isolation. If individuals refuse connectedness, they run the risk of feeling cut off, not only from others, but from shared meaning itself. This can become manifest as emptiness, depression, despair or nihilism.
Heidegger argued that inauthentic living often means conforming to social norms regardless of one’s one individual values, but the opposite extreme, denying the importance of connectedness can lead to alienation from the world and others.
Sartre emphasized that our freedom is always in relation to others; denying this leads to distorted relationships, seeing and treating others as objects or withdrawing from others entirely. Camus argued that refusing connectedness leaves individuals “alone with the absurd”, increasing the risk of resignation or nihilism. He saw meaning as something we create in the face of absurdity, often through solidarity and shared struggle.
Viktor Frankl argued that meaning is often found through love, work, and responsibility to others. Without connectedness, individuals fall into the “existential vacuum,” marked by apathy and despair. Existential psychotherapists highlight that disconnection from others fosters anxiety, loneliness, and a lack of resilience.
Existential psychotherapy is a response to contemporary challenges like alienation, disconnection, and the search for meaning. It encourages people to confront existential realities (freedom, responsibility, mortality, isolation, meaninglessness) while cultivating genuine relationships that counterbalance loneliness. Existential psychotherapy helps individuals navigate the paradox of isolation and connectedness, offering tools for living authentically in modern life.
Not coming to terms with the given of “connectedness” leads to isolation, alienation, conformity and inauthentic existence. While existentialism emphasizes individual freedom, it also insists that humans are relational beings, our choices, meaning, and identity are always intertwined with others. Denying this dimension has profound consequences.
In summary: From an existential perspective, embracing connectedness allows authentic relationships, shared meaning, and ethical responsibility to flourish. By contrast, refusing connectedness leaves individuals trapped in isolation, alienation, and meaninglessness. Connectedness transforms existential isolation into authentic relationship. It grounds meaning and purpose in shared projects, love, and solidarity. It deepens responsibility, reminding us that freedom is never solitary. It provides resilience against despair and nihilism. In short, existential thought insists that while each person must face life’s ultimate solitude, connectedness transforms isolation into shared meaning, responsibility, and vitality. It’s the bridge between existential freedom and human flourishing.